Since moving to Rhode Island with my partner 3ish years ago, we’ve been driving back down to our families houses for Christmas every year, we stay for about a week. I’ve always been close enough with my family. And typically I look forward to coming back, but things feel different this year. I’m not sure what changed but it feels like a switch flipped, like my roots are weaving their way further into my whimsical New England life, and i’m not really mad about it! Just saying.

Historically I’ve always dreaded the day I would feel this way, because I have such fond childhood memories of times like Christmas hanging with family, and I didn’t want to lose that. But now that i’m here, it’s not too bad. I’ll continue to enjoy the holidays even if I can’t spend them playing gamecube with my cousins anymore. That ship has sailed. Now we play Mario Tennis on the Switch2 gamecube emulator.

Of course I’ll still drive back every year, but definitely not spending it without my partner anymore. This is the last year for that. And no more driving around like crazy while i’m here. Both my partners parents and my parents are divorced so that’s like 3.5 christmases to deal with. We can only do so much with that.

On a wholesome note, my favorite person to see while i’m back is my sister, and I will continue to look forward to seeing her for the rest of my life. Our car rides together between our divorced parents houses make everything worth it.

Don’t get me wrong, I love my family, but dang. I’m beginning to realize I live my life differently than they do. Like what is my dad doing right now? He’s walking around setting things down and picking them back up again, and it’s driving my crazy. But maybe that’s just okay.

In about two hours i’ll be at my uncles eating >= 7 fishes, while my grandma takes an unsolicited photo of me looking really weird. That’s alright. At some point my grandpa will let out a laugh that will sound like Santa, unintentionally bringing the holiday cheer. We will make it through.